My Real Education
For a long time, I thought I struggled because I wasn’t good at learning.
School never really worked for me. Things didn’t land the way they seemed to for others. I needed more time, more repetition, more context — and even then, I often felt like I was missing something everyone else had picked up effortlessly.
So I did what many of us do.
I assumed I was the problem.
I learned how to push through.
I learned how to mask confusion.
I learned how to keep going without really understanding why things felt so hard.
What I didn’t realise back then was that I wasn’t failing to learn — I was learning in ways that didn’t suit how my mind works.
What I Learned First Was Survival
Before I ever learned confidence, clarity, or direction, I learned survival.
I learned how to adapt to environments that didn’t feel natural to me.
I learned how to work harder when understanding didn’t come easily.
I learned how to rely on effort instead of ease.
Those lessons weren’t taught in classrooms or textbooks.
They came from lived experience.
And while they helped me keep moving forward, they also came with a cost.
Learning the “Right” Way Never Quite Fit
I’ve never really been able to sit and read books.
My mind wanders. The words stop landing. I lose concentration before I’ve properly taken in what I’m reading.
In fact, the only book I’ve ever read cover to cover was Jessica and Holly: The Ian Huntley Case. It gripped me enough to hold my attention all the way through — and even now, that stands out to me.
Every other form of learning I’ve done has come through listening.
Audiobooks.
Podcasts.
Voice.
Usually while I’m driving or walking.
For a long time, I believed this meant I lacked focus or discipline. That I “should” be able to sit down and read like everyone else.
Now I understand something very different:
I wasn’t incapable of learning — I was trying to learn in a way that didn’t work for me.
The Unlearning Phase (The Hardest Part)
Unlearning has been far harder than learning.
I’ve had to unlearn the belief that struggling means failing.
Unlearn the idea that taking longer means I’m behind.
Unlearn the shame around not fitting into traditional ways of learning.
I’ve had to unlearn comparison.
Unlearn the pressure to prove myself.
Unlearn the belief that my way was wrong just because it was different.
Unlearning is uncomfortable because it asks you to question things you’ve carried for years — sometimes your whole life.
But it’s also where everything starts to change.
Relearning in a Way That Finally Makes Sense
Relearning hasn’t looked neat or linear for me.
It’s looked like:
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Learning through listening instead of reading
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Learning while moving instead of sitting still
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Learning through doing, not just absorbing
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Learning through repetition without judgement
I’ve relearned how to trust myself.
Relearned how to listen to my energy.
Relearned that understanding doesn’t have to come instantly to be valid.
Most importantly, I’ve relearned that my mind isn’t broken — it’s just wired differently.
This Is My Real Education
My education didn’t come neatly packaged.
It came from:
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Living
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Trying
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Failing
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Listening
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Reflecting
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Adjusting
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Trying again
Learn.
Unlearn.
Relearn.
Over and over.
That cycle hasn’t held me back — it’s shaped me.
It’s made me adaptable.
Resilient.
Deeply aware.
And capable of building a life and work that actually fits who I am.
If This Resonates With You
If you’ve ever felt like learning was harder for you than it “should” be…
If you’ve spent years believing you were behind…
If you’ve had to unlearn more than you were ever taught…
You’re not alone.
Learning isn’t enough if it’s built on beliefs that don’t serve you.
Growth comes when you allow yourself to let go — and begin again, your way.
This is my real education.
And I’m still in it.
Where This Leads Next
The next part of this journey is important.
Because once I stopped judging how I learn, I started to understand how I actually learn — and everything began to click.
That’s a story for the next post.